I’m listening to Dreams. No, not the version by the Cranberries, or Dreaming, my all-time favorite song from Blondie. Dreams from Van Halen, during the years when Sammy Hagar was lead singer. The guitarist and founder of the band, Eddie Van Halen, just died, and I’m reminded that, yes, I did own 5150, and during that time felt like a complete outsider while trying to belong, much like I do right now, when I’m revisiting listening to it, years later.
Even though back then I was listening to Dreams by Van Halen, the most popular music at that time even a decade later (but was also secretly listening to The Cure, Depeche Mode and The Cocteau Twins) I felt like a complete outcast, so very much like I didn’t belong in the place I found myself. Even though my Mom says I wasn’t uncool, and I was one of those people who was in on it all, or on the periphery of it all (like her), I still felt like I was living on the outside, because I secretly couldn’t relate. (Did I want to be fully in? Or did I realize I wasn’t really out? I am just aloof??). Which brings me full circle.
AND I JUST WANT TO SAY to anyone who feels like this now—during this unique time, when we’re all isolated to some degree or another—it was only two short years later, or possibly less, that I was fully in my element, surrounded by people who “got” me, with whom we enjoyed being in each others’ company. And that sense of empowered belonging lasted for well over a decade.
We all go through little periods where life is just off course.
You won’t fit in with everybody, all the time, even if you’re respectful of other vibes. So, if you’re exposed to people who don’t appreciate you, in real life or online, take heart. Don’t let it get you down. Stay light and keep doing what you love.
Because things will shift. Listen to your Dreams.
As we’re reminded daily, life is short, uncertain and can end at any time. Do everything towards your greatest love, follow your truth and believe that being happy in the present will bring forth a better future faster.—MEZ
p.s. I’m currently in the Clubhouse beta and I feel so very welcome, moreso than I have felt in my IRL communities as of late TBH.